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Family Resources
Research-backed solutions for the intentional family
The Family Crest
There is no better image of family identity than the family crest, which appears in the FamilyWorks logo. In history, crests were used to identify families—on them were pictured things that were important to that particular family, and they were emblazoned onto clothing, buildings, and artwork. In our logo’s crest, we have identified four different values that we as a company believe are particularly important to us, values that help us to help your family.
Teaching Kids About Money
When it comes to teaching kids about money, surveys indicate that most parents would rather not, so much so that they wait until their kids are 15 to start. This oversight may be generational; another poll indicates that only one in four American adults learned money lessons from their parents. The gap shows: America continually rates poorly on financial literacy indicators; 60% of Americans can’t cover a $400 emergency with their savings; and 61% of Americans don’t know how much money they need to retire. Surveys indicate that 80% of newly graduated teens rank financial pressures as either a “major or minor problem.” Stress about money is a huge problem in this country, one which parents presumably would like very much to help their children avoid. But how?
Three Strategies to Increase Resilience
The key to combating exhaustion, stress, and even illness is to start practicing the skills of resilience together, as a family. “Resilience” is defined by Merriam-Webster as “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.” People who are resilient handle setbacks or transitions more easily than those who aren’t. Families that are resilient have the flexibility to adapt to new situations and meet new challenges. And while some of “resilience” has been proven to be genetic, most of it is actually up to you. You can practice your “resilience” muscles just like you would exercise any other part of your body. And you can start today! Here are three strategies to start building more resilience into your family life.
Peace Starts at Home
This past weekend, the U.S. marked the 20th anniversary of the attacks of September 11, which took the lives of almost 3,000 people and plunged the U.S. into two decades of warfare. And on this coming Tuesday, September 21, nations around the world will celebrate the U.N.-sanctioned International Day of Peace, which calls for a nonviolent day of strengthening and promoting the ideal of peace, including a ceasefire during any local conflicts. Physician and educator Maria Montessori had quite a lot to say about peace education. She believed that “Averting war is the work of politicians; establishing peace is the work of the educator.” But there is one other place that the education toward peace begins, and that is in the home.
Connection: A Positive Parenting Approach
Do you ever feel like no one in your family ever listens to you? It takes five tries for your kids to hear your request to come to dinner, and your spouse doesn’t remember being told that this Saturday is the cookout at the neighbors’ house. Heck, even the family dog just looks at you when you tell her to get off the couch.
It’s frustrating, right? Perhaps more than anything else, human beings want to be heard, because when people listen to us, we feel valued. But so often, we expect to be listened to without bothering to first listen. How do we reverse these negative patterns, and welcome in the kind of connection to our family that we so desperately crave?
Find Your Family’s Why
Great leaders, great organizations, and great individuals understand their “why,” or their purpose. Families, too, are a special type of organization that needs a shared sense of purpose—a “why.” They need to understand and buy into who the family is, so they can work together as a team to accomplish their goals and realize their dreams. They need a vision, something to motivate them and to work toward.
Homework—Montessori Style
The work of children, Montessori believed, was their education—but education toward life, not education in a narrow, academic sense. Montessori even noted that given the opportunity to either work at these specially prepared tasks, or play with toys, the children generally chose to work. And as it turns out, the family is the first place that such work begins.
Establish Values-Based Expectations
Every fall as schools reconvene, classrooms meet to talk about classroom expectations. What kinds of practices, attitudes, and behaviors is the class going to uphold as a group this year? Families, too, can use this change of season to talk about family or home expectations. How do you go about a discussion of expectations that actually works? How, as a family, can you build a set of positive behaviors and attitudes that the whole family will commit to. Here are some tips to get you started.
The 5 Ws of Family Goal-Setting
For individuals, setting goals is linked to higher motivation, self-esteem, self-confidence, and autonomy. Goal-setting is also associated with higher achievement. These benefits of goal-setting can also apply to families, with the added benefit of increasing connection and a sense of community and belonging with the people you love the most.
Five Tips to Help Kids Set Back-to-School Goals
Whether you’re full of optimism or dread, one solution to making this school year count is to help your kids set their own back-to-school goals. We all know that goal-setting is important for adults: it is linked to greater self-confidence, autonomy, and motivation. For kids, the benefits of goal-setting are numerous. Working on their goals helps them to develop greater self-confidence and sense of self, and also improves their locus of control and strategic thinking and planning skills.
5 Back-to-School Traditions
The back-to-schools sales are here! Time to stock up on notebooks, pencils, and binders. Time to start figuring out new schedules, pick-ups, and after-school activities. Summer is over, the general messaging seems to go, as soon as August hits.
But before you dash to your local office store to get all the kids’ school supplies, slow down! Most American families have a couple weeks of summer left before school starts. You still have time to make memories, prepare for the upcoming year in an intentional, mindful way, and reflect on all you did together this summer.
A Beginner’s Guide to Family Meetings
Your young kids may be off-the-wall crazy, or your teens may roll their eyes. But if you consistently emphasize the importance of the family meeting, show mutual respect and affection, and keep it fun, your family will eventually come around. And just like The Berenstain Bears, you can use family meetings to plan, problem-solve, and reinforce your family’s top values on a consistent basis.
What Nordstrom Teaches About Family Values
It may surprise you, but Nordstrom offers some worthwhile lessons for families. The retailer is unique for its unswerving focus on the customer, and it works hard to promote values that enable the company to provide industry-leading customer service. Families can learn from this. One of the first steps for families in their quest for purpose and identity is to identify the values they hold to be most important. Values are crucial; they set the parameters for how a family behaves on its journey to fulfilling its purpose.
How to Road Trip With Your Family Without Losing Your Mind
In the wake of the pandemic and related shutdowns, Americans are craving travel.
This year, don’t just take a vacation. Take a road trip. Play games, listen to music, and even be bored together. Wind through the mountains of Appalachia, drive through the fields of Illinois or Kansas, sweat in the deserts of Utah and Nevada. Have an adventure with your family.
A 4th of July For Your Family to Remember
It’s easy to let July 4 become just a day off work. But the research all points to the value of building traditions. July 4 doesn’t have to be an awkward holiday. In fact, with a little bit of planning, it can become an anchor to your family’s summer, and a treasure trove of family memories to cherish for years to come.
Building a Summer Schedule that Works
Summers often start out great. Your kids are basking in being home, out of school, meeting up with friends or family with no cares in the world. You swim, or hike, or go to the park. You have laid-back grilled dinners with friends, and head out for ice cream afterward. Or maybe you build a campfire and do s’mores.
And then, the summer schedule blues start, sooner than anyone expected. “I’m booooooooored,” says your child(ren). You suggest all kinds of (to you) fun-sounding activities, only to be met with a shake of the head. You get irritated. Your child rolls her eyes. It spirals from there.
Launching Your Children
Pew Research Center surveys find that Americans aged 25-35 are more likely to be living with Mom and Dad today than they were in previous generations. This is not in itself bad, but other research indicates that “emerging adults” (ages 18-25) also consume mental health services more than other groups, and struggle with more mood disorders and higher rates of anxiety and substance abuse. Something about the path to adulthood is proving difficult for young Americans.
Pass on Family Legacy
You’re probably already creating a family legacy, without even realizing it. Have you told your kids where their grandparents met? Or the origins of their last name? Or about the job you held right out of school? These are all important components of family storytelling. FamilyWorks has a whole set of resources devoted to identifying, crafting, and then passing on your unique family stories, but a few tips can help you get started.
Safeguard Your Family’s Future
Almost everyone has a family story about what happened when Grandpa got sick and eventually passed away, and there wasn’t a will. Or, worse yet, there was a will, but its stipulations were dramatically different than everyone expected. In either case, chaos can ensue, with family members first arguing over Grandpa’s care, then vying over any remaining assets. (And if you think your family is too close for arguing to happen, think again! Nothing tears families apart like negotiating an estate.)
Prepare For a Life Transition
Families, just like individuals, have stages, and those stages involve any number of transitions. Courtship and marriage, the arrival of a first child, children’s adolescence—all can be described as life stages, defined by the tasks those stages require. These are all examples of natural, age-related transitions, but there are usually some other transitions along the way as well, like starting a new job, moving to a new house or new location, kids starting school or changing to a new school, and the list goes on.
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