The work of children, Montessori believed, was their education—but education toward life, not education in a narrow, academic sense. Montessori even noted that given the opportunity to either work at these specially prepared tasks, or play with toys, the children generally chose to work. And as it turns out, the family is the first place that such work begins.

For individuals, setting goals is linked to higher motivation, self-esteem, self-confidence, and autonomy. Goal-setting is also associated with higher achievement. These benefits of goal-setting can also apply to families, with the added benefit of increasing connection and a sense of community and belonging with the people you love the most.

Summers often start out great. Your kids are basking in being home, out of school, meeting up with friends or family with no cares in the world. You swim, or hike, or go to the park. You have laid-back grilled dinners with friends, and head out for ice cream afterward. Or maybe you build a campfire and do s’mores. 

And then, the summer schedule blues start, sooner than anyone expected. “I’m booooooooored,” says your child(ren). You suggest all kinds of (to you) fun-sounding activities, only to be met with a shake of the head. You get irritated. Your child rolls her eyes. It spirals from there.

In her groundbreaking book Stress-Proof: The Scientific Solution to Protect Your Brain and Body—and Be More Resilient Every Day, Dr. Mithu Storoni argues that the brain, just like the rest of the body, requires intentional care to thrive. Stress, as decades of research have now shown, is a significant contributor to illness. To maintain your family’s physical health and optimal functioning, you need to face the problem of stress head-on. Your family needs to care for the mind just as it cares for the body. Below are a few tips for ways to downshift and better stress-proof your family.

Budgeting—the word alone brings shivers to the spine. When we think about budgeting, we usually imagine piles of excel sheets and bank statements, calculators, stress, and lots of cutting of things we actually enjoy doing. No wonder only 41% of American households follow a budget. But budgeting is crucial for a lot of reasons, some of which have more to do with your relationship quality than with money.

Decades of research into parenting have demonstrated that authoritative parents—versus authoritarian or permissive—end up raising the most successful children. Authoritative parents are those who set limits, but use lots of love, kindness, respect, warmth, and communication in upholding those limits. Children raised in authoritative homes tend to become more autonomous, self-reliant, self-disciplined, and academically and socially successful. They are taught to be in touch with their emotions, to have a healthy respect for natural boundaries, and to take charge of their own behavior. Perhaps the most well respected source on authoritative parenting is Positive Discipline, by Dr. Jane Nelsen.

The work of children, Montessori believed, was their education—but education toward life, not education in a narrow, academic-based sense. And as it turns out, the family is the first place that such work begins. This should bring comfort to millions of parents this fall, who remain slightly panic-stricken at the thought of supervising their own children’s education in a more involved way due to continued school closures and remote learning. But the truth is that the first and foremost indicator of student success is how involved the parents are.

One benefit of COVID-19 has been the opportunity that increasing numbers of parents have to work from home. For many, the new arrangement could be permanent. Entrepreneur recently published a story on 17 big companies now allowing extended or even permanent flexible work arrangements, including Google, Twitter, Uber, Square, Zillow, and REI. Certainly, working from home has its challenges, especially for those with very young children. But according to a recent Gallup poll, 59% of Americans still want to continue to work remotely “as much as possible” after the pandemic is over. This is an incredible opportunity for parents to invite their children into their work world. And why would you want to do that?

How do modern families survive the daily tug-of-war? At FamilyWorks, we’ve carefully researched the daily needs and activities of families, and we’ve created a list of six key areas that we believe encompass what makes for a cohesive, strong family life. Those areas are: relationships, finance, health, community, spiritual, and career. For your family to retain its strength against intrusive outside distractions, these areas need their own focus and their own distinct goals, and they also need to be in balance with each other.

After your family has identified its mission and vision and started outlining a strategic plan, your next steps are to figure out what goals you need to achieve to accomplish your plan. Chances are, it’s going to take quite a few steps to get to your “Wildly Important Goal.”

Your strategic plan is going to include a number of different areas: your finances, your education, your children, your emotional and physical health and well-being. The first step toward achieving your family’s mission and vision is to identify what you need to do to get there. Focus on big-picture stuff right now

Kobe’s life tells us a lot about “vision”—the ultimate dream, your family’s biggest goal, where you want you and your family to go. The vision is the thing that keeps you motivated and on-task. It is an example of what author Sean Covey in The Four Disciplines of Execution calls a “WIG,” or “Wildly Important Goal.” Covey writes that in the business world, “only 15 percent of employees actually know their organization’s most important goals—either there are no goals or they have too many goals.” Intelligent, ambitious people want to do more, not less, says Covey. But to achieve true greatness, it is crucial to narrow your focus to one wildly important goal—and that goal then becomes the prism through which you view your other day-to-day goals or activities. 

Discover your unique family purpose, simplify decision-making, collaborate with a community of like-minded families, and integrate related apps and resources. Create a roadmap of where your family wants to go, and the specific steps you will need to take to get there.