The Six Segments of Family Health
For almost two decades, longevity expert Dan Buettner has been researching what are now termed “Blue Zones”—five pockets in the world where people live to extraordinarily old ages. They are Sardinia, Italy; Okinawa, Japan; Nocoya, Costa Rica; Ikaria, Greece; and Loma Linda, California. These regions have particularly high concentrations of “centenarians,” or those living to 100 years or older. Not only do the inhabitants live longer, but they also have more healthy years.
The inhabitants of the Blue Zones have some marked differences in culture, diet, religion, etc., but Buettner was nonetheless able to identify 9 traits that these groups all share, what he terms the “Power 9”: move naturally, purpose, down shift, 80% rule, plant slant, wine @ 5, belong, loved ones first, and right tribe. These terms are specific to Buettner’s methodology, but essentially, they translate into a series of behaviors that work together to promote longevity and health: eating moderately, eating a plant-based diet, enjoying 1-2 glasses of wine a day with family and friends, taking time to de-stress, and enjoying strong family and friend commitments. The key lesson is that there is no single “magic bullet” or an identified fountain of youth. Rather, behaviors across several key aspects of life work together to promote a long, healthy, pretty happy life.
These truths apply to families, as well. Authors Jack and Judith Balswick identify what they call “a family-systems perspective,” or “a holistic approach which understands every part of family life in terms of the family as a whole.” The family—mother and father, brother and sister—is its own distinct “system.” The family system lives by its own rules of behavior, although these rules may be more internal than verbalized. And the family system has to be intentional about guarding itself from being taken over. The Balswicks write, “A multitude of extrafamilial systems (the work world, the educational system, the church groups, various clubs, and organizations) are all contending with the family for the time and devotion of family members. Only strong families will be able to survive the intrusiveness of our modern society.”
So how do modern families survive the tug-of-war? At FamilyWorks, we’ve carefully researched the daily needs and activities of families, and we’ve created a list of six key areas that we believe encompass what makes for a cohesive, strong family life. Those areas are: relationships, finance, health, community, spiritual, and work. For your family to retain its strength against intrusive outside distractions, these areas need their own focus and their own distinct goals, and they also need to be in balance with each other.
What do we mean by “balance”? Let’s say that as a family, you’ve identified “competition” as a top value, and you decide to uphold this value in your family by partaking in sporting activities. You enroll your kids in club soccer—it takes time, and it’s expensive, but this is one of your top values, and you decide the sacrifices are worth it. But then, one of the coaches suddenly steps aside, and you are asked to help coach. “Awesome!” you think. This will be an opportunity for the whole family to be more involved. The season ramps up, and you find yourself traveling every weekend. This is what’s expected, you think to yourself. I’ve just got to figure it out. But you have other commitments that are starting to slide. You can’t mow the lawn on weekends anymore, so in addition to the costs of soccer equipment and travel, you’re also paying someone to do your lawn-care. You had been going to church on Sundays, but that’s not really an option if you’re not in town. You had been prioritizing Sunday afternoon “chill time” with other family and friends, an opportunity to reset before the coming week. Not happening anymore. Suddenly, something that is good, and is in line with one of your top values, has sucked far more resources than you had expected, and eaten into your finances, your spiritual life, and your social involvement. What happened?
This is an example of how one area of your life has dominated all areas of your life. This is imbalance. What does an alternative look like? You start club soccer, and are asked to coach, but realize that this commitment requires extra meetings every week that eat into evening down time with your kids—so you turn it down. The travel starts to ramp up, but some of the games are optional—so you opt out. You make sure you attend church weekly, even if during the season you visit other churches. You may reorganize your time or habits a bit, but you keep the different key areas of your life in balance.
Any of the key areas can become a dictator, if you let it. “Finances” can be an unhealthy focus if you become so addicted to saving that you start skimping on things you can afford that would bring your family benefit. “Community” can dominate if your extracurricular social or cultural activities are taking over every weekend. Even “health” can be unhealthy, if you’re spending so much time at the gym, working out, or counting calories that you’re missing out elsewhere or spending more than you should on fitness gear or memberships. Interestingly, athletic scouts know that the best recruits are actually multi-sport high-school athletes, not those who slavishly commit themselves to their top pick. Studies have actually discovered that children who specialize in one sport have a higher rate of injury, burnout, and adult inactivity than those who participate in multiple sports. Why? They fail to develop themselves as a whole athlete, and their stress levels are higher because they don’t enjoy athletics like those who play other sports.
It is key, like the centenarians that Buettner interviews, to balance the important areas of your life, so that you have room to turn away the unimportant. Your family’s well-being and purpose are too much to sacrifice. With the FamilyWorks app, we can help you take back your family’s balance.