Remote Learning, Family Style

The year 2020 marks 150 years since the birth of Italian physician and educator Maria Montessori, famous for “The Montessori Method” of education. In 1906, Montessori opened the first “Casa de Bambini,” or “Children’s House,” a special school/daycare center which cared for the children of low-income families while the parents worked.  

At this first Casa, Montessori tested and refined many of her educational theories. What she noticed early on is that small children were particularly drawn to what she termed “practical life” activities—dressing themselves, sweeping, pouring, preparing their own meals. They developed confidence and independence in these activities, and then transferred that independence to teaching themselves math, reading, geography, etc., using specially prepared materials. (These materials might be sandpaper letters, or large wooden map puzzles.) Montessori even noted that given the opportunity to either work at these specially prepared tasks, or play with toys, the children generally chose to work. Montessori wrote, “It is certain that the child's attitude towards work represents a vital instinct; for without work his personality cannot organise itself and deviates from the normal lines of its construction. Man builds himself through working.” Work is essential to a child’s development.

The work of children, Montessori believed, was their education—but education toward life, not education in a narrow, academic-based sense. And as it turns out, the family is the first place that such work begins. This should bring comfort to millions of parents this fall, who remain slightly panic-stricken at the thought of supervising their own children’s education in a more involved way due to continued school closures and remote learning. We tend to believe that to educate our children well, we need to have a full grasp of math, or history, or literary analysis, or the various other topics. But the truth is that the first and foremost indicator of student success is not the school he or she attends, or athletic involvement, or extra tutoring, or how well the parents themselves did at school. No, the only thing that really matters is how involved the parents are. Education think tank and research group Waterford.org says it best: the primary predictor of student academic success is “not socioeconomic status, nor how prestigious the school is that a child attends. The best predictor of student success is the extent to which families encourage learning at home and involve themselves in their child’s education.”

It’s as simple as that. Be involved; encourage learning at home. True homeschooling is of course an awesome way to do all of this, but you can teach your children in many, many ways while still outsourcing the job of academic teaching. So how do you begin teaching the skills necessary for success? What does this look like at home? To begin with, remember that you, and not your child’s teachers, are the primary educator. Most teachers are wonderful, heroic individuals who deserve high praise for what they do—but even they will readily admit that there’s only so much they can do to compensate for poor home environments. Studies show that student success is really about good habits and self-discipline—time-management skills, goal-setting, proper sleep and nutrition, an organized work space, even professional dress (in college) and the ability to take studies seriously. These are skills that have to be present in the home to take effect.

Your job, as a parent, is to encourage your child in work. Help your child develop independence and autonomy early on. Educational theorist Rudfol Dreikurs, who was influential on Montessori’s theories, famously said, “Never do for a child what a child can do for himself.” Encourage your children to dress themselves, even at very young ages. Allow them to help out with meal preparation. Ensure that they keep their room tidy or clean up after themselves. Prepare their environment by ensuring that their toys all have an assigned place, and help them put toys back in their place when they’re done using them. Encourage your family as a unit to get chores done together, and let your children help. Young children feel immensely valued when they can contribute to shared family tasks, and then have the opportunity to develop the skills that will help them to be truly helpful when older. A teenager who has never learned to stick with a task isn’t going to do much good mowing the lawn.

If education is the work of the child, then you, the parent, are best equipped to encourage that education. It’s difficult, yes—it takes a lot of consistency and creativity. But the good news is that to help your child succeed both academically and in life, you don’t have to completely understand high-school physics. So be encouraged this fall, as your children continue their remote-learning or whatever unique situation they may be in. The best thing you can do is to continue to teach the essential life skills, stay involved in their homework and academic learning, and participate in their extracurriculars as much as possible. Remember, your child’s positive relationship with work begins in the home, with you as their teacher.