Find Your Purpose, Improve Your Health
Americans like to identify health with “how I look.” Imagine the covers of most fitness or health magazines in the supermarket check-out lane. In these, “health” looks the same: low body weight, toned musculature, bright white teeth, all-over good looks. Health is attractive.
But there is much, much more to health than eating right and exercising. In fact, in his research into the longest-lived groups of people around the world, longevity expert Dan Buettner identified 9 common attributes that these groups shared—and only one of them had to do with fitness, and three with food or drink. The rest of the “Power 9,” as Buettner calls them, have to do with having a sense of purpose, deliberate stress management, social connectedness and belonging, and rootedness in family. We’ll talk more later this week about food and the family, stress management, and activity. For now, let’s take a look at purpose and connection.
Buettner estimates that knowing your purpose can add up to seven years to your life expectancy. One study found that in Americans over 50 years old, a higher sense of purpose correlates to “lower likelihood of declines in physical function,” and other studies by the same research have found correlations to “reduced risks of disability, stroke, heart disease, sleep issues and other health problems.” Another study of 1,000 American adults over the age of 21 found that those who experienced a sense of meaning in their lives were more likely to report feeling physically and mentally healthy, and this was particularly true for older adults.
Interestingly, although the studies above paint specific pictures of older adults, research points to another demographic that struggles with finding a sense of purpose: “emerging adults,” or those ages 18-25 or so. There used to be clear “markers” of adulthood: finding a job, getting married, buying a house, having children. But for many, these markers are coming later and later, or not at all, and young adults struggle with increasing instability while figuring out where they belong in life. As a mark of their sense of limbo, this age group consumes mental health services more than other groups, and also struggles with more mood disorders and higher rates of anxiety and substance abuse.
There’s a few different lessons for families here. The first is to make purpose and intentionality part of the vocabulary of your family. For families, this will probably mean paying particular attention to their values, vision, mission, and goals. Such a strategy will help you, the adult, really own that sense of purpose, and contribute to your personal health. And it will help your children begin to learn that purpose is important, making it easier for them to start thinking about their own, unique purposes.
The second lesson is to be aware of which members of your family are, statistically speaking, most likely to struggle with feeling a sense of purpose. How many times have you observed that retirement can be a rough period for older adults, who find they don’t know what to do with themselves all day? Keep that in mind, and when you can, include your parents or other older family members in your own family life. Buettner found that the centenarians he studied were far more likely to live with or close to their children, and to be actively involved in, for example, the lives of their grandchildren. But even more interesting, perhaps, is his finding that older adults played a role in lowering disease and mortality rates in children in the household, also. This makes sense, if you think about it in economic terms. The more resources a household has (in terms of more hands to help, more caretaking, more affection, etc.), the better it does. Also be aware of your teen and young adult children’s struggles. Prepare your teens for the fact that in America today, the 20s tends to be about “finding yourself.” How are they going to handle that quest? Are there specific practices or commitments that can help them feel a sense of purpose even as they are trying to find their life’s calling?
Lastly, note that in all of this, family connection is key. Those who feel connected, loved, like they are part of a bigger circle and can depend upon others, tend to have healthier and longer lives. But connection takes intention. Routinely make a point to be in connection with your children, your parents, your extended family. Build these connections into your daily schedule. (We’ll have a post later this week on how to make family dinnertime one such connection point!) Buettner notes that in Okinawa, individuals commit to “moais,” circles of five friends who meet daily and stay with each other for life. This is almost unheard-of in countries like the U.S., where mere geographic mobility makes such long-lasting connection almost impossible. But consider which of your friends (or groups of friends) have been with you the longest, and are most likely to stay with you. Establish weekly or monthly zoom calls if you’re far away from each other; commit to an annual physical meet-up.
The first steps to health are not found in the local gym, or the aisles of the grocery store. The first and most crucial steps to true, long-lasting health and well-being are found within the walls of your home, with your loved ones. Find your purpose, keep it alive, be intentional about pursuing it with those close to you, and maintain supportive relationships and friendships. Then, start building things like an active lifestyle and healthy eating habits into the culture of your family. Health looks a lot of different ways externally, but it starts with some common internal habits.