The Goal-Fulfilling Family
After your family has identified its values and vision, your next steps are to figure out what goals you need to achieve to accomplish your plan. Chances are, you’ve made goals before—to lose weight, eat more vegetables, save for a major purchase, read more, work out regularly, etc. And chances are, you’ve fallen flat on at least one if not more of those goals. So how do you ensure that this time, you will succeed?
First, write your goal down. One study, led by Psychology professor Dr. Gail Matthews, found that people who wrote down their goals were 42% more likely to achieve them than people who didn’t. Something about the act of visualizing your goal and putting pen to paper—or fingers to keyboard—helps make it more real.
Second, you need to set a regular time to meet together and talk about your family goals. A study by the American Society of Training and Development found that simply committing to someone that you are going to do a specific task gives you a 65% chance of following through, and setting a regular appointment time with that person to work on the goal increases that chance to 95%. The family meeting is the first and best place to do this.
And last, you should put some thought into making sure your goal is SMART: Specific, Relevant, Attainable, Measurable, and Time-Based. Let’s break that down a bit using an example. Perhaps part of your family’s vision is to exercise what we might call “radical” hospitality. You want your home to be a place where all can gather, anytime, for however long they need to be there. You want to be able to welcome your kids’ friends at the last minute, extended family who need a place to crash for a bit, or even a friend of a friend who has fallen on hard times. Now, what kinds of goals can you set to help achieve that vision?
Your goal should be specific. Instead of saying, “My home will always be ready for guests,” perhaps say, “I will create one dedicated guest room, one multi-purpose office space, and one entertainment area that can also function for sleeping.”
Your goal should be measurable. Outline what a “dedicated guest room” means to you. A bed? What size? A chair or desk? Does a bathroom need to be attached? Then figure out how to get there.
It should be attainable. Readying those areas of your home is attainable, but may take focus, and even require setting some smaller goals. Perhaps you need to save money, so you can remodel a space or buy a pull-out couch.
Your goal should be relevant. You probably don’t need to redecorate your entire home, although you may deeply want to!
Your goal should be time-based. Give yourself a deadline, and stick to it.
Exercising hospitality is more than just a mindset; it’s a way of life, one of constant consideration for others, and one that takes a series of goals. And to make those goals stick, you’ll want to log them, meet regularly to discuss progress, and make sure they’re SMART. The exciting part is that when you commit to small changes like these, you can dramatically improve your chances of success. Before you know it, your family will be realizing its wildest dreams, together, and connecting more deeply as you work together to achieve them.