Belonging and Mastery
A few months back, the Washington Post ran a story on the concept of “belonging,” and why HR departments are turning their attention to this old-but-new term. The story highlighted the number of job titles now including the word “belonging”—manager of “diversity, inclusion and belonging,” or VP of “global culture, belonging and people growth.”
What’s with the trend? Christianne Garofalo, head of diversity and inclusion recruiting at search firm Heidrick & Struggles, told the Washington Post, “Diversity is a fact, inclusion is a behavior but belonging is the emotional outcome that people want in their organization. . . . What’s fueling it is a desire to have a sense of purpose at work and a sense of community.”
We are wired to need each other to fulfill our greater purpose, and we find that belonging and purpose first in the family. From earliest childhood, human beings experiment with belonging in the family unit. One study found that when three-year-olds were given the option to work either independently or with others to achieve the same goal, they preferred to work with others. Children as young as 14 months begin to engage in so-called “helping behaviors,” trying to establish their own place in the family system by pitching in around the house.
We need both—a sense of belonging, and also a sense of contributing in our own unique way. This is why in the FamilyWorks logo, “belonging” is represented in the upper left-hand corner by four interconnected circles. The circles represent the individual members of a family. They are connected—they need each other, they gain strength from each other. Yet they are also distinct individuals, intersecting in places, but diverging in others.
We need to feel like individuals; we need to belong. In fact, belonging is Tier 3 of famed psychologist Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the pyramid of physical and emotional needs that people need met in order to feel self-actualized. But belonging is not the only need we have. If you continue to examine Maslow’s hierarchy, you will find the fourth tier, “esteem needs,” or the need to feel important, like a master of something. The family is also the first place we can experience a sense of mastery—of mastering our purpose, of understanding how life starts to fit together and our place in it.
In our logo, mastery is symbolized by the diamond in the upper right-hand corner. Traditional lore has it that the diamond symbolizes not only commitment and love, but also wisdom, clarity, and light. At FamilyWorks, we will provide the resources you need to feel a mastery of your own purpose. Once you understand the vital importance of finding your family’s purpose and identity, your next step is to master the process of achieving that purpose. To do this, you are probably going to want to tap into some extra resources. How does my family write a mission statement? How do we establish a family budget and talk about finances? How do we balance school and work while also making the time to stay emotionally connected to each other? These are important questions, questions that deserve intellectual rigor and honesty. We will provide you with the most cutting-edge thinking on such topics, so you can choose which strategies work for your own family’s particular needs, circumstances, and goals.
Belonging and mastery work together. In the family, we balance each individual’s need to feel connected with the need to feel a mastery of one’s own special destiny and skill set; we feel the strongest sense of belonging when we master our family’s purpose.
So how do we foster both belonging and mastery in our family units? It takes time, research, intention, and a careful plan. With FamilyWorks, you have a partner that will help your family build a strong sense of belonging and a deep commitment to personal and familial mastery.